We all know that not every marriage lasts. Deciding to get a divorce is an extremely difficult time for anyone, and it can be even more challenging when the couple has children. The emotional toll of a divorce will impact each and every person in the family, and it is important to keep this in mind when going through the process. All too often, one of the spouses will want the divorce to end as soon as possible. They may make decisions that do not take into account very important factors, which can be difficult to reverse once accepted by the court. All issues, from property division to child custody, need to be discussed in detail at the time of the divorce.
Unfortunately, many parties make hasty child custody decisions which can seriously impact a father or mother's ability to spend time with their children. While the couple may have made the major custody decisions, there are other important decisions that need to be addressed to prevent further issues from arising.
Most child custody arrangements will draft a schedule of custody for holidays and birthdays, to ensure that both parents will be able to see their children during these important times of the year. While decisions regarding schooling and after-school activities will usually be contemplated as well, parents may not consider what happens during important events in the life of the child.
For example, what happens when the child graduates from high school? Will there be two parties, or will both parents throw a party together? Frequently, parents do not consider these issues until the event arrives. One parent may feel that they are in charge, which can cause stress for the other parent, and perhaps more importantly, for the child. A special day in the child's life becomes the source of arguing and frustration.
It may be impossible to decide these issues when you are going through the divorce, but you should at least consider how these types of disputes will be resolved. Regardless of the custody arrangement that you eventually make, it is important to be sure to keep the best interests of your child in mind. Often, in custody fights, it is easy to focus on winning. Understand that this is a difficult time for your children as well. Try to work with your soon-to-be ex-spouse to create an agreement that benefits all sides, if at all possible.